going in.

it’s funny, how things are, how things turn out and how things seem to us.

thursday’s 4:30 class turned out to be a silent class.
all experienced well acclimated students were there, so i answered the earlier request for such.   silent at my studio is one in which there is minimal verbal instruction, i am leading the class by practicing in the front and music is playing.  so silent is not silent. depending on the day and the vibe of the class the music varies from a mix of kirtan and “world music” to a mix of all that and old rock, new stuff, 80’s bluegrass… you never know what’s coming next. (i do of course, and have tailored the music to how i intend to teach the postures)  it’s usually a great, super sweaty time.

yesterday though, was different.  i was grateful for the opportunity to practice with this group, they challenge me. all of them have been practicing with me for years, they are loving and patient, they have loved me through my yoga career. they have practiced with me the last decade through lots of “life”. and now they lovingly support me while i heal my shoulders, and strengthen them.  oh, and they are STRONG.

of course i am a little nervous, i am before every class silent or spoken. but i started the music and we were off! about 30 minutes later we were soaked and had crossed the “irritation threshold” and everyone was… quiet.  i could feel the shift.  the class had a sequence that was unexpected but the postures were familiar to everyone, the focus  was palatable the asanas were more than healing. they were transformational.

when i teach “regular classes”- as an originally bikram trained teacher i am talking. loooottttsss of talking. lots of instruction and a class full of individual instructions directly to the yogis who need it.  these are intense classes for everyone.  this is not a “memorized dialogue”  the spirit moves through me when i teach. i see the students move, i see their auras/ energy.  as a healer and intuitive and an empath this can be almost trance-like at times.  sustaining this for the 90 minutes of class is important, but occasionally while i am “in there” watching, processing, feeling… i can get “lost”. (was that left or right?)  i sometimes feel awkward, and sometime say silly or curious things.   of course while they maybe curious to the onlooker they are connected in some way for me- perhaps only energetically. (and i feel awkward again)

while teaching yoga is my calling, you can see it is also an endless source of  interesting opportunities to learn about myself.  i may be watching you, talking about you, looking at you- but you -my darling yogis, are teaching me.  as i am moving you through the postures, and  telling you how to move your body;  it’s moving me along in a spiritual place.   when we do yoga together in silent classes i am there leading you, but you are going a little further. you are not distracted by the words and “doing it right for darla”.   your journey is also more inward. with your advanced state of access to the self, i am able to hopefully bring you along a little further thru the stuff … closer to You.  closer to You is what yoga is all about.  frankly getting your foot over your head is how we distract you while you are getting there.  funny huh?